VALUE
Value or social value or Status can have many forms. Many are universal, and found in all societies. Others are specific, and found only in a particular culture or even a particular situation. Value can be anything that one person provides to another that improves that other person's chance of survival or reproduction. And beyond that, value can include anything that offers another person good emotions, because in general, the things that trigger good emotions align with the things that improve odds of survival and reproduction.
At the same time, our emotions can also compel us towards things that are irrational and do not help us, and so value is imperfect, because it can include things that trigger good emotions whether they help our chances of survival and reproduction or not. There is an evolutionary purpose to all of this. For the academically inclined, there is a wealth of scientific research that explains these premises in excruciating detail. But for our purposes what we need to know is this
RULE: Women respond emotionally to that which they perceive will produce offspring with the highest likelihood of survival and reproduction. Whether or not a woman's prospect is a really nice guy who supplicated her has very little to do with that. Except of course, that an unusually nice guy might be more inclined to stick around and take care of his offspring. But there's a loophole in that, too. Women have evolved a menstruation cycle that allows them to hide their period of fertility from their partner, and to be impregnated by whatever man that they see fit. That way, they have the option to enjoy what is essentially the best of both worlds sex and the best offspring from the most attractive man, while being taken care of by the most overcompensating caretaker.
RULE: Typically, a woman will screen her long term caretaker logically and slowly, while she chooses her casual sex partners emotionally and more quickly. Women are capable of knowing if a man is attractive in an instant, but to determine if he will be a good caretaker is something that takes more time.There is a loophole for men as well, however.
If a man initially sub-communicates a high social value, and later after having sex he sub-communicates a high value as a caretaker, (or perhaps he even learns to sub-communicate a bit of both, depending on what the woman is looking for), then like the woman he will have the option to enjoy what is essentially the best of both worlds sex with many women more quickly, while being able to shift gears into a relationship with any one of them down the line.
All of this can seem disturbing at first, but neither gender is obligated to exercise their options. And there is a traditional "happily ever after ending" for those inclined to find it, both for the man who finds the girl that he really likes, and for the woman who enjoys the man that is both a loving caretaker and phenomenally attractive as well. Ideally, for the fortunate couple, there will be continued attraction, a strong connection, lots of great sex, and less inclination towards infidelity down the line. Now moving forward What constitutes value for a man is different than what constitutes value for a woman. To assume that looks are a primary form of a man's value is to wrongly project how you perceive women onto how women perceive men.
RULE: In society, men and women are judged by different socially established standards. Men are typically seen as having value for their ability to accomplish and dominate, whereas women are typically seen as having value for their appearance and social savvy. Because humans evolved as gregarious animals whose survival and reproduction depended upon their social success, it is natural that both men and women have tendencies to cultivate aptitudes that increase their social value.Their cultivation of aptitudes happens naturally, as their minds focus in on what they perceive as being valuable to them and filters out what they perceive as unimportant. For that reason, men commonly have aptitudes in logical or competitive areas such as sports, mechanics, force, and learning about how they can increase their power and security in the world.
Women, likewise, commonly have aptitudes in emotional or social areas, like beauty, body language, relationships, romance, socializing and learning about how their characteristics affect their interaction with the world and their emotional experience of it.
